RRROLL UP THE RIM TO....

read "please play again".

I don't go to Tim Horton's very often. It's not that I don't like their products. In fact, I like them very much. I can't say no when asked if I would like a donut or muffin with my large, one sugar, which is way I don't often go to Tim's. Today for example I ordered an apple fritter with my soup. It was still warm when the counter-chic handed to me. I ate it first. Before my soup. Oh baby it was good, but that's not what I want to bitch about, how could I, it was...

Anyway, this Roll up the Rim contest has gotten shitty. I used to win all the time but this time only twice. The first time it was a free donut, which I lost and the second was a free muffin, which was bran and made me need to shit at work. I think I have mentioned how I feel about that.

And it's not just me. Everyone I talk to is also coming up dry on the winner side. It seems to me that Tim Horton's has not bothered to increase the prize pool along with the increase in coffee sales. Last year Tim's grew by 20% same-store sales. Were there 20% more prizes. I doubt it! Although I can't actually say for certain they didn't.

So I present the Arthur Factor for analysis.

Cups of coffee purchased during the RUTRTW contest: 23

Cost of goods purchased: $28.75

Cups of coffee normally purchased over similar period: 2

Cost of goods purchased: $2.50

Total prize value (including the lost donut) $1.74

Net benefit to Arthur: ($24.51)
(not excluding the shits I got from the bran muffin)

Now say there are at least 500,000 people across the country who like me increase Tim's coffee consumption during the contest (I just pulled the figure out of my ass. It's not significant in any way). That would mean an increase in sales of $12.2 million. Of course I checked the Tim Horton's website for odds of winning, which turned out to be 1 in 9, which nearly corresponds to my actual results, which means I have nothing to complain about other than being just slightly below average in terms of odds.