Thursday, October 28, 2004

It may well have been from years of eating five alarm chili and suicide chicken wings in University that my spicy food threshold remains in the stratosphere but nevertheless I love it hot! I love curries, in particular Vindaloo of lamb, chicken (I have even had goat) oh ya baby bring it on.

Oh ya, jerk. Not me, I'm talking about the ring of fire causing gastric delight from Jamaica. Basically hot, really hot peppers crushed into a sauce with spices like nutmeg and allspice added. It's used as a BBQ marinade for meat. Mmmm.

I love almost everything Thai. The litmus test is of course Pad Thai, but I also love Pad Kee Mao or "drunken noodles" as the dish is often called in Thailand.

Then there is Szechuan or the hot and spicy dishes normally found at your local Chinese food restaurant. Kung po (my son's personal favourite), Hunan or just Szechuan, these are my favourite dishes. Personally, I can do without chicken balls and fried rice, I want the heat.

The past few weeks I've been hankering for dish that would bring a tear to my eye, but haven't had an opportunity to make into the "big city". Today was no exception so I would have to be content to stand around and complain about it. Then it happened. It was so unexpected. I was told of a place in town that makes a super hot Szechuan noodle dish. I was so exited I think I giggled a little. I raced down the street to the restaurant, ordered the dish. The waitress asked
"do you want it hot". I answered " oh ya".

The wait reminded me of Christmas when I was kid. Excruciating. My noodles arrived. I took the neatly wrapped package from the waitress with a smile and walked briskly back to my office. I was smiling like a kid in a candy store the entire walk. I was still smiling when I sat down in the lunch room. I was smiling when I unhinged the chop sticks and continued smiling as I took the first bite. Hmmm, Maybe the heat is on the bottom. I mixed the dish with the chop sticks and took another bite.

I abruptly stopped smiling. The moral of this story is "never trust an old Dutch woman to know what spicy hot is"

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Kiss, Kiss

A really funny thing happened last Thursday. I was having a particularly good day, sitting in my office staring out the window, whistling away as I did. Of course there is nothing funny about that, but, as I was whistling I inadvertently made eye contact with a single mom walking her kids to school. Of course that's not all that funny either, but, I think she mistook my whistling for blowing her a kiss. She smiled, blushed and walked on by.

Today, something even funnier happened. As I looked up from my computer and glanced out the window I noticed the single mom looking right in at me. Of course it took me a while to figure out that she was the one who may have mistook my whistling for a kiss. She smiled, I smiled back. She blow me a kiss, I thought "oh shit".

After she walked by I thought I should keep the blinds closed for a few weeks. You know, to nip our little romance in the bud.

Na, besides, I think the horrified look on my face when she blew the kiss was probably enough.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Blog comments and personality test

I realized after lamenting for an hour on a comment that I eventually didn't post, that I care more about what I say and how I say it while commenting on other blogs than I do in writing my own. What does that say about me?

Does it mean that I am worried about what other people think of me? THE HORROR! I have built my life around a complex superiority complex and the thought that I may actually have an insecurity, that my mantra could be bullshit. AHHHHH - Wait no, that can't be it or I wouldn't have wrote a long post about using the office shiter and then not update it for over two weeks. Hmmm, what then?

Perhaps a personality test could cast some light on my crisis. Did you know that the internet has hundreds of test you can do for free. Here are my results:

Openness to Experience/Intellect - I am open to new experiences, original, curious and complex, yet conventional and uncreative. I scored in the 65th percentile in this category which means in the absolute sense, DICK.

Conscientiousness - I had to cut and paste the word cause I use it so infrequent I couldn't spell it. Anyway, I scored in the 13th percentile here. Apparently I tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent. The disorganized bit sure. You should see my desk, but negligent? And I am much more absent minded than undependable.

Extraversion - I am neither particularly social or reserved according to the test. Scored in the 53rd. What a revolation.

Agreeableness - Like I need a personality test to tell me I am, or tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous, but only towards stupid people. 27th percentile.

Neuroticism- 2nd percentile "You probably remain calm, even in tense situations" Calm in tense situations?. Damn man, I'm like Zen! So not only do I look like the Budda....

So what does this tell me about myself and why I have trouble writing comments (except on extreme right wing sites. I love making them crazy). I guess it comes down to that I am either ignorant or apathetic, but I really don't know and I really don't care!

Friday, October 01, 2004

I rarely use the washroom at the office. Mostly it's because I have no idea whose pimply-ass has been on the seat before me, and the cleaners do a terrible job of cleaning everything else in the building I can only imagine what they do to the toilet.

I know if I wash and sanitize my hands the chance of picking up a germ is remote. But there is no way I can wash my ass in the washroom sink, and I'll be damned if I am dropping my pants to sanitize my ass in my office. It may give the wrong impression.

But today! Today I took my little girl to McDonald's for lunch after her doctors appointment. McDonald's makes her very happy. She gets a cheap little toy with her nuggets and fries. As for me, I get heartburn. Luckily it doesn't last long because McDonald's goes through me like a Japanese high-speed bullet train. Which brings me painfully back to my original rant. The office toilet and my imminent.....

If there were any other solution to my dilemma, I couldn't think of it. No Choice. The office toilet. Hmmm, looks clean. No little hairs, or dried piss. Honestly, who leaves a seat like that? I wipe the seat, just in case.

Leap forward.

That wasn't that bad. No one else entered the washroom while I was in there. That was good. I really hate trying to carry-on a conversation while in the middle of that.

FLUSH. Oh no. This is not good! Was there a sign on the stall that I missed. Did it read "DO NOT USE THIS SHITTER. IT DOESN"T WORK!". Of course there wasn't. As the bowl filled and filled I wondered. Did anyone see me come in here? Would they know it was me if I just walked out and say, went home? I decided that this wasn't the time to ponder, but a time for action so I, well, fixed the situation. The tools to do so were handy. Obviously, it wasn't the first time today this happened.

I was anxious to get out of there. To wash my hands and get the hell out of there. I walked to the sink pushed the soap thingy. Good, that was working. I washed all the way up to my elbow. Grabbed for a paper towel. Hmmm. I grabbed for a towel again. Hmmm. I looked over to the dispenser. EMPTY. Drying your hands with TP is a little like eating rice with one chopstick. It can be done to be sure, but its frustrating and a little bit time consuming.

The moral of this story is "Don't eat at McDonald's. This could happen to you!"