Friday, August 27, 2004

Next Blog>>

There is an incredible feeling you get when you have finished all the items on your to-do list and it's only 10:00AM. The emotion is rarely felt by humans anymore,which is truly unfortunate, sad really.

As I was saying, I was done all I wanted and needed to do today by 10:00AM. I've got a few appointments later this afternoon, but for the next few hours - FREE -

I decided to check out this next blog thing. More to the point, I wanted to know how long it would take to get to my blog. 10 minutes? - NO; 20 minutes? - NO; 50 minutes? - NO.;1 hour? - Nope; Never? - BINGO.

At first, not finding my blog pissed me off. But then I started to actually read some of the more interesting stuff. Like the graphic designer working out of her home who masturbates while she talks to clients. The dominatrix from Seattle who spoke so sweetly about the guy she was beating on with her favourite riding-crop. There were tons of teenage musings about how hard life is having to go to school five days a week, and how unfair their parents are for making them get a job in the summer. Blogs of love, and blogs of hate. Some people looking for answers and others think they know all of them. I read a excellent blog on faith by a Catholic Priest in Boston.

It all started to remind me of one of my favourite Hunter S. Thompson quotes:

"When the going gets weird, the weird go pro"

Thursday, August 26, 2004

hot home-style soup

feed my body and soul

the unfortunate chicken

A lunchtime Haiku by Arthur

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Waking up in another dimension

I got up late today. Even more so than usual. The kids were cooperative though, so I was able to get back on schedule. Showered, got dressed and made my way down stairs. Had a little breakfast while the kids were putting on their shoes. Poured about 6 cups of coffee into my thermos and headed off to work. Dropped the kids off. I made it to my office by 9:00

WOW! Considering how late I woke up I should have been a hour late. So I settle into my routine (see earlier post), pour a big cup of coffee. Email received....15 new messages. Hmmm, nothing marked urgent. Delete.Delete.Delete. Raise the coffee to my lips, take a big drink and spit it right back into the cup.

I must have woke up in another dimension. I should have recognized the signs. The kids are never that cooperative and well, nice to each other. I could never have made it to work by 9:00 having got out of bed at 8:30. And the temperature of my coffee could not have dropped from steaming hot to ice cold in 30 minutes. So I must be in another dimension.

Either that or I filled my thermos with 12 hour old coffee from yesterday.

Monday, August 23, 2004

If I had five million dollars

What would I do. First of all I don't think I would buy anything, not for a while anyway, well maybe some more flowers for my garden, but no stuff. I would like to travel. Here is my travel top ten, in no order.

1. I would take my daughter to the Bolshoi Ballet Company in Moscow. She is only four and of course wants to be a dancer.

2. I would climb Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, with my son. I would have to wait a few years for this one. I figure by the time he's fifteen, he should be able to carry my ass up the mountain.

3. I would visit Cape Comorin in southern India. At Cape Comorin, three oceans, the Bay of Bengal, the Indian Ocean and the Arabian Sea meet at the Southern most tip of the Indian sub-continent. I would want to see Cape Comorin during Chitra Pournami(full moon day in April) when the sun and moon are face to face at the same horizon.

4. A tour of Italy starting with the Grand Canal in Venice. (Atkins can kiss my ass. I love Italian food) Wifey studied a bit of renaissance history, so we would have to see Florence. In the foothills outside of Milan and Rome there are 13 century monasteries that have opened their doors to tourists. You can spend the night in rooms that are 5 centuries older than the first European settlements in North America.

5. Fish for Blue-fin off the coast of Nova Scotia and Marlin in the Caribbean. I would have to do it "old school" like Hemingway, no machines. What a rush, when the fish actually stands a chance.
6. Dig for dinosaur bones with my son and daughter in Drumheller Alberta, the so called Badlands.

7. Tour the culinary mine-field of Southeast Asia. Vietnam. Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Southern China.

8. Oktoberfest in Munich Germany. "Ich Bien bierdimpfe". While we are in Europe I'd likely take in a Pub tour of Great Britain, or even better a Whiskey tour of Scotland.

9. La Fiesta De San Fermin in Pamplona, Spain. The festival is more commonly known as the Running of the Bulls.

10. This last one is sort of a compilation of things I'd like to see and do: Walk the Great Wall. See the ancient ruins in Central and South America. Have a coffee in a bistro on the Champs-Elysees in Paris with Wifey. You really could go on and on once you start thinking about it.





Friday, August 20, 2004

brother can you spare 5 million

Just a question today. What would you do if you won the lottery? It's a simple question really, but it tells so much about person who answers it. To make it easier, lets say you won 5 million.


Thursday, August 19, 2004

Why I don't wear a watch.

Two years ago while golfing at a local rock garden amusingly called a golf course, I lost my watch. Not a big surprise, I was losing the watch about once a week, but it always seemed to find me. I had purchased the crappy Swiss made time piece several years earlier and it showed its years, especially the band. The band was in a permanent state of almost, but not completely broken. I would fix it, it would break again, I would fix it, it would break. Replacing the damn band was out of the question as the replacement cost of the band was twice the replacement cost of the watch. Besides, the watch still worked. The round ended, but the watch didn't turn up.

For me it is custom to drink as many beer as balls I lost during the round, one more for the watch. On this day it was a good thing I didn't drive. I was well into my forth Stella, lamenting the half dozen balls I lost, when in walks the beer-cart chic...With my damn watch. I wasn't able to fix the damage this time. Too bad, or so I thought.

A week passed without knowing what time it was. Then two. Then a month. Soon I started to realize that I really had no use for knowing what time it was. I still don't. I actually found that I late for appointments less often.

Try it. You might like it

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Democracy

Wifey thought I should start using my Blog as a soap-box for my new political party. Yes, I have my own political party. It's called The New Progressive Party of Canada, unless of course Elections Canada has a problem with the name.

I think I'll start by sharing my favourite cynical quotes about government.

"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."

H. L. Mencken...


Monday, August 16, 2004

My donut jones

I have been trying to eat a little better lately, especially avoiding donuts. But, today, no luck. I started the day jones'in for a old fashion sugar, and the jones continued to grow. I went home at lunch, partly because I miscalculated cash-flow for the week and want to be a good boy til payday, but mostly because my office is across the street from Tim Horton's.

After lunch and back at the office I'm starting to feel a little dizzy. I really need a fix man. Put the only cash I have on me is a twenty. Everyone knows what happens when you break a twenty. Right, it disappears. No Choice, I need it too bad. BUT WAIT. I have a $4 winning ticket from Cash for Life. Sweet, I don't have to break the twenty. So I walk across the street to the corner store, hand the clerk the ticket. She casually takes it from me and politely asks if I would like the cash or another ticket, to which I naturally respond: "THE TICKET"

Anyway, I'm in line at Tim's, patiently waiting behind an old couple that can't make up their mind what sandwich to get and an old guy from Michigan who has to ask what everything cost in American. What the hell, may as well scratch. Nothing better to do. Besides if I had won another 4 dollars, I could walk back over to the corner store, exchange the winning ticket for the cash and be back here before any decisions were made.

First box: $500.00

Second box: $6.00

Third box: $500.00

Forth box: Oh my Gawd!! $500.00

I just won $500.00. SWEET!. So there I was in line, feeling pretty good about the day and what to I see just at my feet. A dollar. I pick it up, politely ask if it belongs to anyone, no. SWEET! I don't have to break the twenty.

If there could be a moral to this story it's this: If you're jones'in for a donut and you don't want to break a twenty and a pretty corner store clerk asks if you want cash or a ticket, take the ticket, because you're going to get the donut anyway.


Theme Park Fun!

Well, wifey and me took the kids to MarineLand this past weekend. All I need to say is that for the most part the kids had a great time, which is to say I didn't. Although I must admit the *girl had a few moments that really cracked me up. After waiting in line for about 30 minutes to enjoy a 37 second ride, the girl exclaimed: "WHAT, THAT'S IT. THAT WAS LAME!" I laughed my ass off.

* For those of you that haven't linked from wifey's blog, (which is likely nobody) the girl is our 4 year old daughter.

The boy had a friend along so he had a good time, except once, when he and his friend waited in line for a roller-coaster ride only to be pushed out of line by two teenage girls. I wanted to wait for the girls and "accidentally" spill a large paper cut of syrupy sugar water all over their but the boy couldn't point them out. It would have been a ridiculous listen to teach the kids, but sometimes justice comes at a price....

Gas to get to the park: $40
Admission: $137
Three cups of syrupy sugar water: $7.76
Spilling one of those cups all over the nasty little bitch that decided to pick on two little kids:
JUSTICE!







Friday, August 13, 2004

Email Signature Lines

Several months ago I took in a marketing seminar in the big city. One of the seemingly more knowledgeable speakers talked about marketing by email. Not the direct SPAM email, but by using well crafted, timely and personal email with particular emphasis on the signature line. Because, "the signature line tells the reader who you are and what you do, and its the part of the email research shows generates the most trust!"

I decided to give it a try. I send out a letter to my entire client base asking for their email. To my surprise the request worked and I began sending out timely newsletters about investment markets, oil prices, general economic info, and the odd recipe, paying particular attention to the signature line. Depending on the receiver I am either President or Financial Representative.

Things were going well. I was getting great feedback and feeling good. Mind you the only feedback was on the recipes I included, but nevertheless. About a month ago however, I started wondering if people really did care if I was president or say....GRAND POO-BA. I started using this as my title on selected emails. Then all of them. NOTHING! Not one response. Nobody noticed, not even my Mutual Fund Dealer compliance officer who is suppose to notice such things.

So, for the foreseeable future, or until anybody notices, I am Arthur, Grand Boo-Ba!

Hmm, I suddenly feel like bowling.


Thursday, August 12, 2004

Pad Kee Mao

So yesterday evening wifey gives me hell for not posting anything. I explained that I had a very busy day and really nothing to say. She told me I didn't get the "essence" of Blogging. As she was re-explaining the concept to me one word stuck in my mind and I slowly drifted into thought all the while trying to appear that I was listening. "Essence"! I began to remember a FoodTV show I watched back before I turned the satellite off because there was nothing worth watching except cooking shows. "Essence"!.

Hmmm. I continued to not listen to wifey talk about blogging. Actually she had moved on by this time, but this is about me. "Essence"! Then it struck me like a ton of hummus. I'll post the recipe for her favourite dish. Here it is:

Pad Kee Mao

Its best to have everything prepared before you begin. Otherwise its going to suck!

1. Combine 3tbsps of fish sauce(I use Cock brand sauce and no I'm am not kidding it's really called Cock), 2tbsp of seasoned rice wine vinegar and 2tbsp of Black bean sauce together. Add one clove of garlic (finely chopped) and a finely chopped hot pepper (Thai is the best). I sometimes add 2tbsp of soy sauce. No reason why, I just do. You can also add more black bean sauce if you like.

2. Chop one med onion, a red pepper and three cloves of garlic. You will also need to seed and chop one small tomato. A bunch of Thai basil chopped. (If you can't find Thai basil, the regular kind will do. And no you cannot use dried!) A hand full of bean sprouts.

3. 1/2 pound od ground pork. For those of you who don't dig on swine, firm bean curd is a good substitute. The meat of one chicken breast sliced/chopped.

4. 2tbsp sugar and as many hot peppers as you can take. Thai are the best!

5. Large/wide rice noodles. Break into small pieces and soak in hot water for as long as the directions on the package say.

COOKING TIME

If you have a wok, fantastic. If you don't, well your a loser who is going to screw this recipe up anyway. Heat wok to about medium. Add 1tbsp of veg oil (canola or grape seed are best). Add three cloves of chopped garlic and cook till brown, but not burnt. Then, add 1tbsp oil, turn heat to high/highish and add onion and red pepper. You will need to stir continuously until onions are carmelized and the peppers are soft. Sometimes I add some of the Thai peppers here.

Add the ground pork/tofu and stir till cooked through (and the pork is separated into small pieces). Add the chicken. Once the chicken is cooked, add the sugar and stir. The sugar can burn quickly if unattended, so stir. Once it starts to turn the mixture brown add the noodles, strained very well of course. Add sauce and stir mixture together. Add the rest of the hot peppers and stir. Add the basil and bean spouts to the mixture. It should be looking like a Thai dish by now.

To finish, add the tomato and stir till all the sauce, water and tomato juices are absorbed by the noodles.

Serve in a large serving bowl. Enjoy.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

An interesting day.

I think today is going to be an interesting day.

Recently I was discussing with my assistant/coordinator...far too much of a bother to continue with. Lets call her Aglaia from now on! Recently, we were discussing passages from books that had made an impact. Written words that made you think and feel. It was very easy for her due to the fact she is the wife of a clergyman, and apparently he regularly uses inspirational passages, songs and poems to write is sermons. In fact, he once used a Beatles song. Anyway, to her astonishment I mentioned a paragraph from Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, which describes the elderly bishop Bienvolent walking in his garden:

"He was there alone with himself, collected, tranquil, adoring, comparing the
serenity of his heart with the serenity of the skies, moved in the darkness
by the visible splendors of the constellations, and the invisible
splendors of god, opening his soul to the thoughts which fall from
the Unknown. In such moments, offering up his heart at the
hour when the flowers of the night inhale their perfume..."

Aglaia, told me her husband will most likely use the passage to inspire his flock, notably due to the "god" references. It's an interesting day when an atheist gives sermon material to a clergyman. More interesting to me is why she was so astonished I read Les Miserables. She never did say. Hmmm


Monday, August 09, 2004

Yet, another witty title!

Really, I mean what more can be expected of a suburban king on a Monday morning?

Drank 6 cups of coffee by 11:30AM, eat two pieces of fruit bread for breakfast, okay, it was at 10:00 but at least it wasn't buttered! I think I am going to have a scoop of ice cream (moose tracks) on a sugar cone for lunch. I'll likely drive into the big city this afternoon to grab a Grande Capi' at Starbucks. I really prefer Second Cup, but the store is in the middle of a mall, and with summer vacation it will be filled with unemployed teens in cloths that are either too small or too big, depending on gender of course.

I don't think I can take the site of fleshy teenage girls or 100lb losers wearing their dads "fat pants" today sooo...Starbucks it is!

I wonder if that will be too much coffee? Better have a biscotti as well.





Friday, August 06, 2004

Arthur in 30 Seconds

In my last post I mentioned that my significant other, Trillian, is a blogger. She loves blogging, reading other bloggs, having others read hers. I finally gave in to her near daily suggestions "you should start a blog, I can help" and well, here it is.

In the back of my mind I was thinking I would never have time to sit and write interesting musings about my day. Afterall, I am a very busy man. I own a small financial planning centre with offices in five small towns. Where would I get the time?

Turns out my assistant/coordinator does most of the work. In fact, if I were a my boss, I would likely fire me. Let me illustrate. Here is how I started my day, which is a very typical day.

  • I woke up at the crack of 8:00. Well 8:10 by the time I got out of bed.
  • I showered, shaved and ironed my cloths, got dressed all by 8:30.
  • 8:30 to 8:40: made sure the kids were dressed and ready, poured my coffee and waited for my ride. Normally I would not have to wait, but my mini-van is in the shop.
  • 8:55 The kids were dropped off at the sitter
  • 9:07: Login to my computer.
  • 9:10: receive email - 9:15 delete most email without reading
  • 9:20: read newspaper headlines. Only story worth reading was about UFO's.
  • 9:35: Read wifey's blogg.
  • 9:37: Wonder what the hell I am going to do the rest of the day.
  • 9:39: Start writing this post. It should be about noon by the time I finish. Constant interruptions from my assistant. Again, it's great someone in this office actually works. She gives me a list of things to do. I really think that should be the other-way-round. I wonder if she's catching on? Maybe she is starting to realize she runs the place. Oh well, she's been doing a great job so far.
  • 9:54: Run spell check. WOW, I really can't spell! My grammar is a dogs breakfast as well. Funny sideline actually. I use words like, nevertheless, although, and as well as to try to cover-up the fact that I know very little about stringing sentences together properly.
  • 9:58: Phone call from client. He's not having a good year. Wife left him and he lost his job. Well, losing the job was inevitable cause that's what happens when you work for your father-in-law and daddy's little girl leaves you. Man that would suck!
  • 10:12: Called meeting with staff. That should bring me into lunch, which in the financial services industry is at least an hour and a half. Ahh it's good to be the king!


Thursday, August 05, 2004

Oh good,

Looks like I got it all figured out. I just wish I had something good to say. I have a feeling this is very much the way a child feels when a parent tries to get them to do something cute in front of complete strangers. Nevertheless, I feel obligated to write something. My significant other has been delighting me with her musings for a while. She feels that since she loves blogging, and that she is the target market for everything, that everyone must therefore love blogging!

Well, I quess its worth a shot.

First Post

Well this is interesting. I am not sure I should be surprised that this would hapen to me but.....

my damn blog name is already in use and blogger didn't seem to mind.